True love grows by sacrifice and the more thoroughly the soul rejects natural satisfaction the stronger and more detached its tenderness becomes.
– Saint Thérèse of Lisieux
If somebody is kind to us ninety-nine times and then does one hurtful thing, we are likely to forget the ninety-nine good things and remember the one bad thing. We can watch it happen in ourselves – no matter how absurd we know it is – when our parents or partner or children fail us and we blow a fuse. When we get angry, we suffer a curious, temporary attack of amnesia. For the time being, we just cannot remember that week when she nursed us when we came down with the flu. We forget the time he entertained us cheerfully when we were depressed and irritable. We don’t see the hundreds and hundreds of white flags charting the course of good relations down the years. We see only this last crimson flag waving menacingly in our face.
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